I've had a lot of time to think lately. About what? About everything. And, unfortunately, my monkey brain likes to take over and ruminate. I find myself recalling past hurts, disappointments, and issues. I don't like to ficus on the negative, but I find my mind sneaking back to it.
What does this have to do with a gold Buddha? Last year, my sister-in-law and I went to a small, local brick-a-brack store to look for Christmas presents. It's one of those stores packed with little nick nacks and things you really don't need. In the Asian themed room, I spotted a pretty gold Buddha statue in the room. It was about 18" high, and it was holding a lotus.
Today, I went back to the store to buy it. I called ahead first and described this Buddha to the clerk. She asked me twice if I was sure it was gold. I told her, yes. Of course I was sure! I loved that Buddha the second I laid eyes on it. I knew what it looked like.
Except I didn't. Do you see a golden Buddha above? Me neither. I had a crystal clear memory of this statue. I could see details clearly in my mind, and yet, I was totally off. On the way home, I began to think about all of the ruminating I had been doing. If my memory had been so off on something I loved, could it be off one a memory that hurt?
I went to the store to get a Buddha statue to hold my jewelry and ended up with a lesson in perception. Memory is flawed. Even when we think we remember something so perfectly we could recreate it, we might just be off. Maybe those memories are as painful as they seem in my memory, but maybe not. Maybe like the golden Buddha, I am remembering some details that are mutations of reality.
The next time my monkey brain wants to take over and naggle in my ear about this hurt or that slight, I'm going to remember how my golden Buddha isn't golden at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment