As I type this, I’m sitting in a dark room because my power
is out. And, for the last two days, I
have not been able to access anything other than a few webpages because my
modem has finally gone senile. I was in
the middle of cooking my lunch (my big meal of the day, which today consisted
of steak, salad, baked potatoes, mushrooms with onions, and split pea soup for
supper) when the power went down.
According to the power company’s robot, my power should be back on in an
hour.
This has left me with an hour to think. At first, I was filled with mild panic. My meat wasn’t in the pan yet, so I wasn’t
worried about it spoiling. It was just
mild panic that the world was suddenly devoid of power and internet. As suddenly as the panic hit me, the realization
how ridiculous that panic was also hit me.
I have never lived in an era without power. I heard stories from my grandparents about
their lives without power. Those stories
were filled with times around campfires, wienie roasts, walks back and forth to
town under the stars, and adventures in the woods. While I’ve always had power, I am old enough
to have had nearly my entire childhood internet free. I was born in the late 1980’s, and the only
contact I had with computers until I was a teenager was at school. My mother was adamant about not having the
internet in our home until it became necessary (which was when middle school
and high school reports because mandatory to be typed and researched
online). Even when the internet finally
arrived, we were restricted to two hours a day that were to be broken up into
thirty minute duration. The only
computer we had was a huge desktop that sat in a corner of the living
room. I usually spent less than the two
hour limit on the computer and found it pretty boring.
Looking around me at the new generation that has grown up on
computers, I realize this was a blessing.
My entire childhood was spent outside in nature or inside being
creative. Sure, there were vegged out
afternoons in front of the television watching movies. Saturday mornings were spent watching
cartoons without fail (do they even have Saturday morning cartoons
anymore?). The vast majority of my time
was spent in the yard or with a book.
Now, though, things have changed. I graduated from grad school in the summer,
and I’m still on the hunt for a job.
Instead of my days being filled with creating all of those little crafts
I find myself constantly pinning, it is filled with more pinning. I get up in the morning, tell myself I should
work out, get my tea, and turn on my computer.
Two hours later, I drag myself into the shower, and get right back to my
net fix. That glowing LED screen
attracts me like a moth to an open flame.
Only at night when I get sick of it can I put it down and walk away. That’s not to say that I don’t check it every
hour or so to see if someone has sent me a message or a new comment has
appeared on my Facebook.
I cannot help but believe that this is not what life should be. This constant checking and clicking. Our brains don't even recognize any of this as interaction with another human being. Some how, my life has become this cycle of internet (over)usage. The new year is approaching us pretty quickly, and with it always brings about tons of resolutions. This year, I'm going to resolve myself to using the internet less and using life more.
I have a neglected home, a neglected garden, and a neglected sense of wonder that are calling my name. I know it seems counter intuitive to be starting a blog right when I am taking a pledge to lessen my time online, but the time seems right to me. No one wants to read about me sitting at my computer all day pinning things.
So, here I am, about to start out on the adventure of reclaiming my life. There's a wide world out there, and, while it's many blooming things insist on accosting me, it's high time I got back out there in it.
